| lord be praised! |
[Oct. 6th, 2009|01:38 pm] |
Beloved Verizon Wireless and even more beloved Google will be making Android phones together. I cannot wait for this to happen, so I can finally drop this disaster called iPhone, along with the absolute worst service called AT&T, like a bad habits that they are.
I have ~20% dropped/failed calls with the iPhone, on top of which Apple does not want me to have Google Voice. The day of reckoning cannot come too soon. |
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| лох это судьба |
[Jul. 22nd, 2009|07:40 pm] |
Хотел худеть и склонялся к вегетарианству. Пробежал 3 мили немедленным шагом, а на ужин подавали самое вкусное, что есть на свете - ( мясо молодого барашка ). Несдержался и теперь тихо ненавижу себя. |
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| rsa conference in san franisco |
[Apr. 9th, 2009|07:19 pm] |
If any of you are coming to the RSA Conference in San Francisco between April 20 - 24, please stop by the Google stand and I will give you a light-up key chain.*
*While supplies last. |
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| why weddings and aks don't mix |
[Mar. 22nd, 2009|11:03 pm] |
Folks, sometimes I wonder if there are limits to human stupidity and I keep coming to the answer that our idiocy has no bounds and it is as vast as the known Universe. The above video depicts a father of a bride, who accidentally shoots his daughter's groom in the head with an AK rifle. If holding an automatic weapon in an unsafe manner, with a finger on the trigger, round in the chamber and safety off, can be called accidental. Kills him dead, too.
Sometimes I am lost for words. This is one of those times. Please stay alert and have a safe week. |
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| damn, just damn |
[Mar. 9th, 2009|07:59 pm] |
Folks, after six months of using Mac, I am working with an IBM ThinkPad loaner. Damn, I am in awe of the marketing, sales and PR prowess of the Microsoft machine: to engineer such a fucking disaster of an operating system and to be so successful at making money off of it.
Have any of you been using a Mac for over a year and then happily switched back to Windows? Is there such a case in all of human history? Because that would boggle the mind. |
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| disaster averted (for now) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|05:21 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | money | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Gbus | ] |
| [ | frequency |
| |  thankful | ] |
| [ | .mp3 |
| | 50 cent (after my chedda) | ] |
Until recently, I used to work with this amazing guy, whose name is Pasha. Pasha is brilliant, has a charming, if a bit excessively forceful, personality and he is also stunningly good looking. Not your typical software engineer at all, folks (although dear ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pingva is also a very handsome man ... for a software engineer). Well, my chance acquaintance with Pasha saved my 401(k) from a rather unenviable demise.
Like many of you, I have placed most of my 401(k) money into a mutual fund that concentrated on emerging markets. In the past it has been a risky, but very worthwhile investment. Early last year dear Pasha advised me to move all of my money into cash. Over several lunches he painted a convincing picture of the impending financial Armageddon. Truth be told, I am a tractable man: you sell me a good story and I will do as instructed. Hence, over the past 12 months I was constantly turning towards Mecca, Jerusalem and Rome every time I heard horror stories from colleagues, friends and perfect strangers, whose 401(k) declined by staggering percentages. One guy has about $20,000 left out of more than $80,000. The other lost $120,000 in about a year. Worst part: they feel that is it too late to walk away now. I think otherwise, but I have neither the intellect nor the persuasive skills of Pashevski. Plus, I don't want the responsibility, so I tell them my story and then I shut the fuck up: man's got to know his limitations.
Dearest Pasha, if you are reading this -- thank you very much. As the fucking Dow is hitting its 6 year lows, my cash is safely tucked away in the amazing VMMXX. By the time I will need my 401(k), I hope to be pouring my beloved wife her umbrella drinks on some exotic beach, collecting 20 percent (compounded and adjusted for inflation). And still thanking Pashusha -- the man, the myth and the legend, who liberated, extricated, delivered and redeemed a fellow P.
Oh, and I would like to extend a huge fuck you very much to the so many talking heads in the media who, not knowing their asses from their elbows, remained "cautiously optimistic" and cost millions of gullible investors untold billions in savings. |
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| fuck crisis, let's dance©omami |
[Feb. 3rd, 2009|04:36 pm] |
Happy birthday, dear sashha!
So, I know this guy Victor. Victor came here a long time ago, made his money in the Internet bubble, had three kids and now works as a senior account manager, pushing SaaS (software-as-a-service, for the non-technical folks amongst you). He is happily remarried to a younger Chinese lady with huge boobs and a $50,000* smile. Life is good for old Victor, but he is always looking for new angles. What I love about this guy is the fact that he knows how to make money. What’s even better, watching him make money is like watching Cirque du Soleil – it looks easy, almost effortless, but there is noway for you to pull it off.
Here is his latest scheme: as many of you know, dear Chinese economy is about to go boom. Their real estate market is tanking like the fucking Titanic, minus the overweight (yet, so adorable) Kate Winslett. The affluent middle and upper classes need to do something with the cash they have accumulated in the fat years. Shit, what is there to do? Invest in rubles? Acquire gold? Oh, wait – I know! How about gobble up some of that foreclosed property in Northern California. HeLlA nOrCaL has it all: pleasant climate, high tech industry, outstanding universities and educated, tolerant and diverse population.**
Conveniently, the Chinese wife in question sports not only a pair of 34 double Deltas, but also comes with a California real estate license. And she speaks Mandarin and Cantonese. Need I continue?
Bottom line: Victor has set up an office, whereby interested investors come to the US, go look at properties, pay for it in cash, he also sets them up with tenants, who will be renting said property and wait until the new generation is ready to come over from China and go to your Stanfords and Berkeleys.
Last week he closed his first Russian customer.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
*Estimated.
**If reading this makes you want to move here, please don’t – we have earthquakes and gays. Oh, and too many people just like you already live here. |
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| помогите советом |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|07:55 pm] |
Уважаемые, мне очень нужен незатейливый велосипед для езды по городу. Никаких рекордов я ставить не собираюсь - мне бы проехать километров 50 по асфальтированной дороге. Очень важна одна деталь - мне необходимо преодолевать резкие подъёмы, которые в изобилии водятся в Сан-Франциско.
Выбрал пока себе Trek FX 7.2. Стоит он смешные $470. Есть ли лучшее соотношение цены-качества в пределе $700? Спасибо. |
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| i am madeinmoscow and i approve of this message |
[Oct. 22nd, 2008|09:17 am] |
 |
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| the magnificent seven |
[Oct. 2nd, 2008|01:02 pm] |
The purpose of my next non-business trip to Europe will be to investigate the possibilities of securing a citizenship of another country, so my family will be able to choose where to live. Because I can feel that this country's economy will go boom sometime very soon.
I am considering the following countries (possibly, in that order):
Monaco
Lichtenstein
Luxembourg
Andorra
Norway
Iceland
Switzerland
Any other ideas? No Islamic fundamentalist Qatar or Kuwait and no fucking Cayman Islands or BVI tropical paradises in the middle of nowhere. And no communist Hong Kong either.
I need peaceful, rich and reasonably close to excellent educational institutions for the many babies we want to have. Thank you!
PS And please don't steal my list: I don't need extra competition. Dear Andorra has some 71,822 citizens and I think they have room for only 3 more. |
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| treason |
[Oct. 1st, 2008|05:29 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | economics | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | gbus | ] |
| [ | frequency |
| |  mayday, mayday, mayday | ] |
| [ | .mp3 |
| | metallica (and justice for all) | ] |
Please help me understand the upcoming unmitigated disaster that is about to befall us: our government wants you to pay $700 billion to support failed business, a lot of which is foreign debt on foreign property. This, in turn, will dump the value of the US dollar, taking even more money out of your pocket.
Are you fucking kidding me right now? They want to take money we do not even have (they will raise the cash by selling US treasury paper, which means that they will borrow more money from China) and pay for the poor business decisions of foreign (and domestic) bankers? Fuck that -- first we need to fix University Avenue -- the very street I ride every day to and from work: it is full of potholes. Or, maybe, just maybe, pay off some of that $10 trillion national debt (and that's trillion with a T) that we somehow managed to rack up. And let the "unfortunate market conditions" grind all those assholes with $2mil mortgages and their worthless $200K business school loans into fine dust.
Let me recap: our dear federal budget is $3 trillion, the total tax receipts are $2.5 trillion and going down, down, down. Thus, our annual budget deficit is going to explode from $500 billion to $1 trillion. Also, the entire Iraq war has been put on the credit card and that is no small change, folks: $3 trillion. So, what are we gonna buy us for $4 trillion? Let's see: busted up foreign mortgages and some death and destruction thousands of miles away.
Bottom line: if our insane government thinks that their treasonous bailout is the best plan they can come up with, I would like to get the tens of thousands of dollars I have paid last year alone in taxes back, so I can fix this awful mess one pair of American-made True Religion Jeans at a time. Fuckers!
I have never written my congressional representatives before, but I think I will just go ahead and make an exception on this one. And if you agree with me, I encourage you to do the same. Please help! |
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| get your obama on ($12) |
[Sep. 26th, 2008|10:42 am] |
 Please feel free to consider donating to "a huge campaign to register 500,000 young Obama voters in swing states before Election Day," by clicking on the picture. The t-shirt is only $12 (including shipping and handling). Thanks! |
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| you all have a nice weekend now |
[Sep. 19th, 2008|07:22 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | tgif | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | gbus | ] |
| [ | frequency |
| |  sleepy | ] |
I do not know who or why this is. I just think it's awesome.
Even if it made me throw up in my mouth a little. |
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| the fire of my loins (60mpg jihad) |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|10:09 pm] |
2010 Honda Insight Hybrid. I am not a huge environmentalist, I just really hate Saudi Arabia. |
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| покажите где здесь цимес |
[Sep. 5th, 2008|08:31 am] |
Билл Гейтс помогает Джерри Сайенфельду пеарить Майкрософт.Оба выглядят несколько несуразно (я правильно перевел awkward?). |
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| спасибо дорогому monomythу |
[Aug. 21st, 2008|12:34 pm] |
Я напрочь завяз в быте (быту?). Даю себе 2 месяца на исправление. А у вас там как? |
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| грузия пролетает как мимино над телави |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|03:23 pm] |
Дорогие Вооруженные Силы Российской Федерации,
Пожалуйста, не травмируйте наших военных и, если можно, не сильно ломайте наше оборудование. Форму на грузинах прошу не дырявить - я за нее деньги платил. А самих их хоть в блин раскатайте: эти грузины утомили отнимать лаве у многодетных негритянок из гетто. Мы на них столько финансов потратили, а они даже воевать не научились; пусть лучше Шаквиша из Окланда скушает лишний гамбургер, сладег.
С уважением,
американский налогоплательщик Паштет. |
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| have a great weekend! |
[Jun. 13th, 2008|09:44 am] |
1. I think there is some sort of sports event going on somewhere overseas. Whatever, but here is the most important part of it: the ladies.
2. Безумный талант: 14-и летняя девушка Настя Сорокова обладает нешуточным голосом. Видео.
3. Три славянских парня наваляли кавказским парням. Особенно отличился последний боец - просто джигит. Видео. |
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| please have the best weekend ever! |
[Jun. 6th, 2008|04:39 pm] |
1. The biggest fake breasts on Planet Earth happen to be in size 36MMM. Visual and story here.
2. Vice President Dick Cheney implies that West Virginians are inbred here. |
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| close call |
[May. 20th, 2008|04:58 pm] |
 A US Marine from the 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit dodges bullets after Taliban fighters opened fire near Garmser in Helmand Province, Afghanistan, on May 18, 2008. The Marine was not injured. |
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| omg! |
[May. 7th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
If any of you know recent college graduates (good school and good grades only, please), who want to enter the magical world of software-as-a-service (hereinafter, SaaS) sales and who are also willing and able to move to Austin, TX, I have an amazing job opportunity just sitting here, waiting for them. We will hire somebody within the next two weeks, so this is rather urgent.
I am easy to find: asoyan@google.com. Thank you! |
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| so hot right now! |
[May. 6th, 2008|01:14 pm] |
Folks, I encourage you to update your wardrobe with this amazing shirt (please read the comments of many satisfied customers). Thanks! |
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| 88 minutes |
[Apr. 26th, 2008|12:16 am] |
Да, тут мало что можно сказать. Это не фильм, это просто руководство к тому, как не надо делать кино. Шедевральный бред! |
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| it's all fun and games until i am wearing your skin as a poncho |
[Apr. 4th, 2008|06:24 pm] |
Seether is basically a lot of redneck noise that lends itself well to be the background track for military videos, particularly if they feature Apache gunships lighting up Iraqi insurgents. This video has it all: midgets fighting Santa Claus and Tito Ortiz dressed like Uncle Sam. Seether is coming to SF on April 16. I am probably too old for moshing, but there is only one way to really find out.
Quote of the week: Note to all of you dip-shit privates: if you call me anything other than Sergeant Keen, I will hunt your pimpled face down and fuck you up like my wife does my dinner!
Have a great weekend! |
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| explain this to me like i'm a five year old |
[Apr. 2nd, 2008|10:20 am] |
 Hi, everybody, I have a question. Every day, on my way to work, I pass under a large billboard sign pictured above (sorry, the photo is so small). Clearly, this is an advertisement for MSN. Can somebody elucidate to me what is the logical premise behind this sign? Microsoft is supposed to follow me around in a rather clueless fashion and write laudatory stories about my brilliance? Or what?
Basically, what the fuck, over. |
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| so very sweet (dearest veirdo special) |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|03:22 pm] |
Finally, a website we all can be proud of: Teacher Harmony is devoted to helping teachers find consenting students for dating and more. |
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| sos |
[Mar. 19th, 2008|10:27 am] |
I have to be able to make an intelligent conversation on the following topic: venture capital and how it affects the start-up technology space. Can you recommend a few good online sources for that?
My conversation is tomorrow, at 8am. Please help. Thanks.
NB I found the following resource interesting: Sequoia Capital’s Elements of Sustainable Companies. |
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